eye contact

This chapter begins with a pretty dope story.. apparently there was some dude not to long ago who got away with marrying 104 different women, many after a few days of meeting, tricking each to abandon their lives, sell their assets, and wait for him in an agreed upon honeymoon suite…I’m not even going to get into what that says about the american dream, but the setup here is the role eyes (and the gut) play in detecting deceit..

According to the author’s research, the tricky thing about discovering someone mid lie is that – while eyes betray emotions, thoughts are rarely revealed. Essentially all one needs to convincingly pull a  lie off is a concentrated focus (to cover your emotions about your deception) or no emotions at all (which would be the case of psychopaths).

Psychopaths tend to have (and are often known for) an unrelenting gaze, which may not even be intentional as much as a reflection of their inability to internally moralize wrong doing. Again, our natural impulse is to soften our gaze by occasionally averting our eyes during conversation. When I think about it, I can not only recall several times where the intensity of someones gaze was unwavering, but also the feeling that rose up in me (my father would often use this on me to great effect..I can only imagine his father before him)

As for that feeling, the book advises that one should “follow their gut” in the case of uncertain negotiation  An example was even brought up that when considering food that is bad for you, your body will often advise against it if you listen close enough (this I can relate to too)..the only evolutionary reason I could imagine for this would be situations where concealing intent (or even discovering bad food) means life or death, so thank God for that… but I still cant get those instances out of my mind..